


Foregoing of the lie (however scary)

by Estelle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelle/pseuds/Estelle
Summary: Bucky has to go to his cousin’s holiday wedding that’s taking place a year after he was left at the altar by his ex. Unable to face going alone, he asks Tony to go “just as friends"... despite the fact that he's been in love with Tony for about a decade.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 152
Collections: 2019 WinterIron_Holiday_Exchange





	Foregoing of the lie (however scary)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [betheflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/betheflame/gifts).



> I immediately loved the prompt (which is pretty much the summary, because I suck at those XD), and I hope you like it! Happy Holidays!

“Tony, I need your help!” Bucky sounds frantic over the phone, and Tony is immediately on high alert, a dozen different scenarios of what could have happened running through his head.  
“Okay, hang on, where are you? I’ll be there as fast as I can!”, he replies, already halfway out of the door.  
“No, no, I’m not in danger.” A little chuckle. “Well, not right now”, Bucky reassures him, and Tony relaxes slightly.  
“It’s just...”, he continues, then hesitates. “You know my cousin, Ava? Well, she’s getting married, and I’m happy for her, _I am_ , it’s just, it’s been a year since… you know. And I can’t go there alone. I just _can’t_.”  
Bucky sounds a little desperate now, so Tony hurries to say “Of course! That’s perfectly understandable. Bucky, you don’t have to go, she’ll understand!”  
Tony had met Ava a few times over the years, and he’d always liked her, she’s funny and bright and adores Bucky, which of course wins her major points in Tony’s book, not that he would ever say that. So she’d be disappointed if her favourite cousin doesn’t attend her wedding, but she’d understand, Tony is sure of that. Anyone who knows what happened a year ago would understand. Tony doesn’t even want to think about it, he’ll just get angry again. Because a year ago, Bucky has been left at the altar by his arsehole of an ex, and cruelly at that, with the guy saying that it had all been a joke, how could Bucky even think he’d fall for someone like him, a guy with one arm and a lot of PTSD, shouldn’t he know better? Tony had to be restrained from punching the guy, right along with Steve.  
He has never liked the guy – and no, that had nothing to do with the fact that Tony has been in love with Bucky for as long as he can remember, shut up, Pepper – but obviously, Bucky had been head over heels in love, and everyone else had liked the guy too, so Tony had kept his mouth shut, and regretted it every day.  
“So why do you need my help? Want me to tell her?”, he asks then.  
“No, no, I _want_ to go, I just… I can’t do it alone, and I was thinking, _hoping_ , maybe you’d go with me?”  
Tony has never heard Bucky sound this shy, and his heart skips a beat. Is this it? He has been thinking that maybe, maybe, with lots of encouragement from Pepper, he could ask Bucky out, because a year should be enough time to get over _that arsehole_ , right?  
Before he can reply with a very enthusiastic yes, Bucky continues, “Just as friends, of course. Not like a date, or anything.”, and Tony’s excitement dies.  
Of course Bucky doesn’t want to go out with him. He didn’t want to _before_ , why would he want to now? Tony is an idiot.  
Still, he’d do just about anything for Bucky, and if that means going to his cousin’s wedding just as friends, so be it.  
“Of course I’ll go with you.”  
“Really?” Bucky sounds surprised.  
“Sure. I like Ava. It will be fun. If anything, there will be food”, he tries to make light of it, to mask the fresh feel of heartbreak, and Bucky seems to buy it, because he laughs.  
“Thank you. Really, Tony, I owe you for this!”  
“It’s fine.” It isn’t, but he’ll live. Somehow.

A month later, it’s the day before the wedding, and how has Tony forgotten that it’s almost Christmas too? So the hotel they’re staying at is decorated beautifully with lights and garlands of pine and poinsettias, and it’s all so romantic that Tony’s throat closes up. He thought he could do this, but now he’s not so sure.  
They are greeted warmly by Ava and her fiancée Mira, who are standing next to the enormous Christmas tree in the foyer, and after a round of long hugs and introductions, they are told that the evening reception has already started and they should go right ahead, their luggage will be brought to their room.  
The hall they enter is just as beautifully decorated as the rest of the hotel, with a pyramid of champagne flutes next to the entrance, and waiters serving little snacks milling about.  
Bucky tenses next to him, and Tony leans in to whisper, “We can go to our room, claim we’re tired from the long car ride?”  
But Bucky takes a deep breath and shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. This is important for Ava. I can stay for a bit.”  
“Okay, but if it’s too much, let me know. It can totally be my fault that we have to leave early!”  
Bucky smiles at him gratefully, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and god, why does he have to be this beautiful? Tony really needs to get it together before he does something stupid like lean in even closer and kiss that smile right off his lips.  
They do manage to enjoy the night then, Tony not leaving Bucky’s side, and a few of the guests definitely mistake them for a couple, but Tony doesn’t have it in him to correct them, and when Bucky doesn’t say anything either, Tony’s treacherous heart starts to hope again.

It’s late when they finally make it to their room, and Tony pretty much just wants to collapse into bed, but Bucky stops him right after they’ve closed door.  
Tony blinks, just staring at him for a moment, not understanding what’s wrong, then he sees the problem.  
“There’s only one bed.”  
“Yeah.” Bucky shifts uncomfortably. “They must have thought that we’re...”  
And really, is the thought that awful that Bucky can’t even say it?  
Tony sighs. “Right. If you’re that uncomfortable, I’ll sleep in the...” He look around the room, which is nice enough, but doesn’t exactly have that much space to contain more furniture than the twin bed and the small dresser, and settles on: “armchair.” It doesn’t look exactly comfortable, but if Bucky can’t bear the thought of sharing a bed with him, he’s not gonna make him, no matter how much that thought hurts.  
“What, no!” Bucky looks alarmed now. “I already made you come here, if anything, I should sleep in the chair!”  
“Yeah, right.” Tony frowns. “You’re way taller than me, that’s really gonna fuck up your back. And it’s _your_ cousin’s wedding, you need to be in top shape tomorrow! It’s fine, really, I’ve slept in worse places.” Not that he likes to be reminded of that, but sleeping in an armchair probably doesn’t even make the top five of awful places he had to sleep in.  
Now Bucky is frowning too. “Tony, no. We could...” His eyes shift to the bed. “...share? I mean, we’re both adults, and we’ve been friends for ages, we can manage to sleep next to each other, right?”  
Right, friends, of course. They’re friends, completely platonic friends, nothing will ever happen between them, Tony really needs to get that memo.  
He shrugs. “Sure, I suppose there’s nothing to it.” If only his heart would understand that.  
So after a quick shower and changing into his pajamas – and Tony is extra glad he packed them now – he gets into bed next to Bucky, desperately not trying to think about how much he wants to do this for the rest of his life.  
He shifts onto his side, trying to find a comfortable position, acutely aware of Bucky next to him, and how little it would take to cuddle up to him.  
Eventually, he does manage to drift off to sleep, and when he wakes up, it must be the middle of the night still, because everything is still pitch black. Normally, he is always cold, but he notices with surprise that this is not the case tonight. Then the arm slung over his waist and the body snuggling up to him register, and he freezes. Tony is on his back, and Bucky must have shifted in his sleep, because he’s almost draped over Tony, and he doesn’t know what to do, not daring to move.  
He doesn’t want to wake up Bucky, knowing that he will be embarrassed by this, but it also seems wrong to just enjoy this without Bucky’s consent.  
Finally, he decides that he is a weak man after all, and lets Bucky’s quiet snoring and the warmth of his embrace lull him back to sleep.  
The next time he wakes up, he is alone in the bed and he can hear the shower running, and he doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed. He half hopes that Bucky woke up to find them cuddling, but at the same time he doesn’t, because that would mean that he ran away from that, from _him_ , and that thought is just too painful.  
Before he can drown in more heartbreaking scenarios, the bathroom door opens, and Bucky steps out, only wearing a towel around his waist, his hair still wet, and Tony’s gaze involuntarily follows a drop of water running down his perfect chest and chiselled abs.  
He isn’t sure what kind of sound he makes, but Bucky’s eyes snap to him, and he definitely blushes.  
“Uhm, you’re awake”, he states needlessly, and Tony nods.  
“Yeah, uhm, good morning!” He cringes internally at how forcedly cheerful that sounded, then quickly gets up and grabs his towel and suit from where it’s hanging on the dresser.  
“I’ll let you get dressed”, he manages, then practically flees to the bathroom before he can embarrass himself any further. Why does Bucky have to be so unfairly gorgeous on top of having an amazing personality? Every time Tony thinks he might get over him, something like this happens, and he’s reminded of how far out of his league Bucky is.  
The shower he takes is definitely set to ice cold.

The wedding ceremony is beautiful, held in one of the hotel’s big ballrooms, and afterwards, the rows of chairs are rearranged to dinner tables, with space for a dance floor on one side.  
The food is delicious, and Bucky seems to be enjoying himself, but Tony still needs to check.  
“You okay?”, he asks softly, so that the other guests don’t hear, and Bucky smiles genuinely.  
“Yeah. It was beautiful. Ava deserves this.”  
Tony agrees, reassured that Bucky is having a good time, and goes back to his food.  
Later, it’s time for the first dance, and Tony thinks that the two women look radiant swaying together, clearly in their own bubble of joy, and he can’t help but hope that one day, he will have something like that too.  
More couples join the dance floor then, the music still slow and sweet, ideal for cosying up to your partner, and Tony chances a glance at Bucky, who’s still watching his cousin and her wife.  
He looks beautiful in the low light, his dark blue tux hugging his figure just right, his hair pulled into a ponytail and his blue, blue eyes shining with happiness, and Tony feels himself falling even further.  
Before he can say or do anything though, a young woman comes up to them and offers her hand to Bucky.  
“May I have this dance?”  
Bucky looks like a deer caught in headlights at that, and Tony can feel how uncomfortable he is, but he also knows that he is too polite to say no, so he makes a split second decision.  
“Sorry, lady, his dance card is already full!”  
Standing up, he pulls a stunned Bucky to the dance floor with him, and wraps his hands around his neck.  
After a second, Bucky seems to get it, and places his hands on Tony’s hips, gently swaying to the music, and Tony forgets everything else around him.  
“Thank you”, Bucky says after a moment, and Tony looks up, right into his warm blue eyes.  
“Anytime”, he replies, meaning it with all his heart.  
Bucky swallows, and his gaze flits from Tony’s eyes to his lips, and he can’t be imagining this, right?  
Taking a chance, his heart beating so loud that he is sure it must be audible over the music, he leans up, and Bucky meets him halfway.  
When their lips finally touch, Tony is sure he’s in heaven. The kiss is soft at first, sweet and slow, but then Bucky’s hands tighten on his hips, pulling him firmly against him, and Tony lets himself go, kissing Bucky with all the passion and feelings he has kept bottled up for all these years.  
Bucky responds with equal fervour, and Tony looses himself in the feeling, until suddenly, it’s over, and Tony acutely feels the loss, not understanding what’s happening.  
Bucky has stepped back, breathing hard and looking mildly horrified and Tony feels his heart sink.  
Without a word, Bucky abruptly turns around and briskly walks out of the room, and Tony just stands there for a moment, watching him leave, his heart breaking again. This can’t be happening. How did the happiest moment of his life turn into the worst?  
Before he even consciously thinks about what he’s doing, he’s following Bucky, and finds him just outside the ballroom, leaning against a wall and looking on the verge of a panic attack.  
Tony stops short, unsure of what to do or say, and Bucky looks up.  
“Tony, I am so sorry!”, he starts, and Tony shakes his head. He doesn’t even really know what exactly Bucky is apologising for, but he can’t stand seeing him like this, and besides, it’s all his fault anyway, like always. It’s not like he ever did anything right, so why should this go his way?  
“It’s fine, you have nothing to be sorry for. You probably went along with it to convince that lady that she has no chance, and the atmosphere was right, and besides, what’s a little kissing between friends, right?” He know he sounds hollow, not at all like the light tone he was going for, but it’s all he can manage at the moment, with his heart breaking so severely.  
“I don’t wanna be your friend”, Bucky says then, and Tony didn’t think it could hurt more, but it _does_. Getting shot is nothing compared to the pain he’s feeling now.  
“What?”, he croaks, not able to manage more.  
Bucky seems to register then what he just said, and shakes his head. “No, I mean, I love being your friend, it’s amazing, you’re amazing, but I’m also fucking _in love with you_. I’ve been in love with you for over a decade, and I was handling it, because you’re the best person I know, and I never want to loose you, and I know I’ll never stand a chance, but _this_? This is just too much! Dancing with you, sharing a bed with you, kissing you _like that_ , I just can’t, I don’t… I don’t know how to do this anymore.”  
He’s breathing hard as he finishes his outburst, and Tony can only stare at him, not able to wrap his head around what he just heard.  
“But you almost married someone else”, is what he finally manages. He knows it’s not nice to bring that up, but it _did_ happen.  
“Because I know I can never have you. So I settled. Or tried to.” Bucky sounds so small, and Tony wants to hug him and make sure that nothing bad ever happens to him ever again, but first he has to make something clear.  
“But you _can_ have me. You have to know that I’ve been in love with you for ages.”  
“What?” It’s Bucky’s turn to look shocked now, then he laughs, still a little disbelievingly. “Are you sure?”  
Tony grins, stepping closer. “Very, very sure.”  
Bucky’s answering smile might be the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, and when they kiss, with “All I want for Christmas is you” floating through the open doors of the ballroom, Tony finally believes that sometimes, things do turn out perfectly well.


End file.
